Deflection

Why do we deflect?

Deflection is a psychological defense mechanism wherein you redirect conversation or attention away from yourself and onto another topic or someone else. It’s almost like throwing the ball into another’s court for them to dodge. You deflect the focus from something that you find threatening or uncomfortable. – Swarnakshi Sharma

Successful politicians are very skilled in the art of deflection. Bill Clinton was a master at it and when confronted with lying about his sexual encounters with Monica Lewinsky, he deflected with this answer… “that depends on what your definition of is, is.” Everyone knew that he had lied about his relationship with the young woman but not everyone remembers him actually admitting to it. But almost everyone remembers his infamous deflection, “that depends on what your definition of is, is.”

You don’t have to be a crafty politician with a law degree to know how to deflect. It is in our DNA. Children do it all the time:
Teacher: ” Johnny, did you do your homework”?
Johnny: “The dog ate it.”
Mom: “Mary, did you eat all the cookies”?
Mary pointing to her baby sister: “Sally, ate most of them”.
Dad: “Sammy, why did you hit your sister”?
Sammy: “Well, she started it”!

My wife loves to watch the law enforcement reality TV shows like “COPS” and “LIVE PD”. Criminals are just older children who have brought deflection to a whole new level.
Policeman: “Did you steal this nice car, why is there a screw driver in the ignition”?
Perp: “I lost my keys.”
Policeman: “We found these drugs under the seat, are they yours”?
Perp: “I gave a ride to a hitchhiker earlier today, he must of left them there”?

I must admit I have mastered deflection too.

My wife screaming from the dark bathroom in the middle of the night: “Why can’t you remember to put the toilet seat down”?

Me: “I remembered to take the trash out!
Hey sweetheart, have you lost weight”?

In one of Jesus’ last appearances to the apostles prior to His ascension, Jesus has a very pointed conversation with Peter at the Sea of Tiberias. In John 21:15-25, Jesus hits Peter right between the eyes with the same question, 3 times; “Do you love Me?” Peter had to be squirming because although he answered Jesus the first time, Jesus asked the same question two more times.

Why 3 times? Was it to remind Peter of the 3 times he denied knowing Jesus during the night before His crucifixion? This had to be a very stressful conversation for Peter. Jesus proceeds to tell Peter about his future ministry including the manner of his death! Peter is hit with a firehose of information. And then Jesus finishes by lovingly saying to Peter, “Follow Me.” How does Peter respond to the person he just spent the last 3 years with, the Being who has just risen from the dead, The Son of God? Does Peter enthusiastically say, “Yes Lord, I will follow You”? No, he deflects. Peter points to the apostle John and says “what about him”?

How many of us deflect when
Jesus asks us to follow Him?

Non- believers stiff-arm Jesus all the time. Deflection is not the same. Believers do not show Jesus the palm of their hand and say “no”, but we are guilty of saying “not now”. Several of my “not now” deflections come to mind and here is one I am willing to share. There was this nerdy classmate at Georgetown University who invited me to attend his Bible study group. I deflected saying I had to work. It was a true statement and although I worked my way through college; I could have made the time to attend his Bible study. Why did I deflect at the time? Truthfully, I didn’t want to spend the few precious hours left in my week with a bunch of Bible thumpers. Apparently, God didn’t give up on me because I find myself 45 years later attending a Bible based church, a weekly men’s Bible study and studying the Bible everyday. It leaves me bitter-sweet. I regret waiting so long to learn and enjoy God’s word and yet I am immensely grateful, He patiently waited for me to answer the call.

God's reach

If you are a non-believer, please give your Father in heaven a chance. Turn towards Him and be filled with His light. If you are a believer, ask His Holy Spirit to help you forego the deflections when He places His finger on your forehead. It’s better to receive His loving temporary convictions than the eternal condemnation the path of this world leads you to. God’s plan for us is always better than our own plans without Him.

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8 responses to “Deflection”

  1. Joan

    Last paragraph, 2 typo’s. If you are “a” believer is missing “a” and…. the path of this world leads you “to”. I think you are missing the “to” or I am just reading it wrong.

    1. Gabriel

      Thank you Miss Joan.

  2. Monday Williams

    Believers are always eager to tell their testimonies but not very many share all the times they stiff armed God prior to being born again. There are a few times I know when God was tapping me on the shoulder but I ignored him. He was extremely patient in waiting for me to wake up.

  3. Frank Monroe

    Loved your toilet seat story. I think all husbands have made that mistake at least once.

  4. Samantha Gould

    Great stories. Today I hear my voice coming out of my kids’ mouths as they deflect and my mom’s voice coming out of me as I scold them.

  5. Harry Richards

    I forgot about how Peter deflected towards John when Jesus was questioning him. It reminds us that we are all human and even the apostles were with their faults.

  6. Diane Zachary

    Why is it so easy for some of us to respond to Jesus and it takes others so long to come home to him? My daughter refuses to acknowledge God. It is hard for me to watch.

    1. Gabriel

      Lots of parents with adult children know the pain of hearts grieving for their children who no longer honor God. My short answer is that your daughter might be beyond your reach but she is not beyond God’s reach. Continue to pray for her.
      If you haven’t read this post from March: https://enjoyinghispresence.com/a-twist-on-the-prodigal-son/, perhaps it will help.

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