With Me, Without Me

Perhaps you are already familiar with this “mindset for success formula”.

E    +    R    =    O

Event  plus  Response  equals  Outcome

I learned it during my corporate days.  
Events happen in your life.  Sometimes they are good and sometimes not so good.  It is not important whether the event was self-induced due to poor judgement or an accident or an unjust occurrence caused by someone else.  The “why” it happened is NOT important. 

It is your Response to the event that is most important because it determines the Outcome.  A response ruled by emotions is probably going to dictate a poor outcome.  Whereas, a well thought out response will produce a more favorable outcome. 


The 5 P’s!
Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance, right?  


But, no matter how hard you can try to prepare for contingencies in your life, unexpected things happen.  Sometimes they come out of left field and your life goes sideways.

So, if the “R” is the most important part of the equation (E + R = O), if our Response is the key to determining the Outcome; how do we choose our Response?

If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble,
because he sees the light of this world. 
But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles,
because the light is not in him.” 

John 11: 9b-10 (ESV)

Jesus is contrasting the safety of walking in the safety of God’s will and wisdom compared to walking in our own will and wisdom.

I am reminded of a movie titled “Knight and Day” starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. It’s a comedy, a “feel-good” movie and I highly recommend it.  Diaz plays a naïve blond who unwittingly gets entangled with a special ops guy played by Tom Cruise.  Realizing very bad guys are intent on harming Cruise’s character, Diaz’s character wants out of the situation.  Each time things go sideways; she tries to break away from Cruise’s character making the situation much worse. But of course, Cruise’s character saves them both from the clutches of danger. 

After each successful rescue, Cruise’s character reminds Diaz’s character she is better off under his protection by placing his hand up near his head with his palm parallel to the ground, saying, “With me,” and then he lowers his hand to his waist with palm still parallel to the ground, saying, “Without me.” His character repeats the up-and-down hand gestures with the accompanying words for emphasis: “with me-without me, with me-without me”. 

So, what if we take those words and modify them to help us with our Response to the sideway Events in our lives?  Let’s change those words to: 

With God – without God; With God – without God.

When I think of my Responses as a younger man, before becoming a “true” believer, my responses were not with God.  My responses were based on the qualities of this world such as pride and/or negative emotions (complaining or feeling sorry for myself, blaming others).  

E + R = O

E > The event happened
+
R > my response was “without God”
=
O > an unpleasant Outcome.  

If you think about it, if you are not With God, then who are you with?  Yourself?  If you are focused on this world, who is the prince of this world?  And which one of our attributes does the devil use against us?  Our emotions!

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

Romans 8:5-6 (ESV)

If we place our focus on this world, the best this world has to offer you is death.  If you focus on God’s world, God’s world is eternal.  Eternal LIFE and Eternal PEACE!

Emotions are pretty powerful so how do we keep them in check long enough to make decisions with God?  Easier said than done, right?   The truth is we can’t do it on our own and God knows that and He provided us a helper.

Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away,
for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you.
But if I go, I will send Him to you. 

John 16:7 (ESV)

The Greek word for “helper” (parakletos) can also be translated as counselor and advocate.  Jesus also calls Him the Spirit of Truth.  Jesus even said to the apostles it was to their “advantage” that He leave them so that the Holy Spirit could come to dwell within them.  Even though Jesus lived with these men for 3 years, he lived among them not within them.  We as believers are fortunate to have the Holy Spirit to dwell within us.  He is our helper, advocate, counselor and He speaks the truth to us. 

Since I have become a “believer” the sideway stuff still happens in my life.  But my Responses have changed and my outcomes are way more favorable.

I turn towards God with total trust and confidence in Him.  I ask His Holy Spirit to guide me through the less then pleasant time.  I do my level best not to allow my personal emotion to interfere with His guidance. 

I think we can all agree; Life Happens! Sometimes good things happen and sometimes bad things happen.  

E + R = O!  The formula does not only apply to when the bad times in our life happen.  What is our Response when good events happen in our lives?

Events from something as small as finding a parking space in front of the grocery store in a driving rain storm to the lab report showing no more evidence of cancer. What does our Response look like? Do we say, “Wow that was lucky” or do we thank God for His graces and His blessings?

Our Response should always be “With God”
because Romans 8:6 reminds us:
“… to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

I would hope the more appreciative we are in life and the more we acknowledge His goodness; the favorable events will always outnumber the sideways events.  

I have no doubt God is involved in our lives if we allow Him in.  He doesn’t allow things, particularly bad things to happen to punish us.   We can live our lives based on our “free will” or allow Him to work through us to accomplish His will.  It took me a long time to realize:

Nothing Happens without God’s Permission

Now a much older man, I always pray for God’s Holy Spirit to guide me in all decisions no matter how trivial.  Does stuff still go sideways in my life?  Absolutely! 

But it doesn’t rattle me anymore because I have come to enjoy the peace of His presence and I place all my trust and confidence in Him.  -Amen

To Subscribe to Enjoying His Presence…

Enter your email address to receive notifications of new articles by email. It’s free.

6 responses to “With Me, Without Me”

  1. My first wife was very high maintenance and led with her feelings. She constantly got herself into hot water allowing her emotions to lead her. I would remind her of the 5 Ps when she screwed up which only exasperated the situation. 😳

  2. This post is a nice reminder for us to figure out what God wants us to do before going off half-cocked and making a worse mess of things. But we were all young once and we made choices we regret because we forgot to wait for God’s lead on the matter.

  3. I enjoyed the movie and this article. Absolutely living life’s choices with God are so much better than living without them.

  4. William Taylor III

    My frustration has been learning to wait on God. Sometimes he takes a long time to help you figure it out. It’s the waiting that can be very difficult. But I have learned that if God is quiet on the matter, then He wants me to wait it out. Easier to say thann do.

  5. There’s an expression “flying by the seat of your pants”. You can be successful at that for only so long and then you crash and burn. Life is always better with God then without Him.

  6. When I was in sales, our manager would always say “fake it until you make it”. I bought it into that for a while but I never felt comfortable because I did not enjoying lying to people. It was me working “without” God. Eventually, I went out on my own and I learned it’s best to be honest with people. I am pretty sure that was me doing it “with God” because my business started doing really well and I got a lot of referrals. I am fortunate to have God favoring me with so many blessings.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *