Background
Lorenzo’s parents immigrated to America from Sicily when Lorenzo was a young boy. Lorenzo married his high school sweetheart, Rose Marie whose parents also happened to be from the same small town in Sicily as Lorenzo’s parents. Lorenzo and Rose Marie were first generation Americans and they had two sons. Lorenzo Jr. (Butch) and Vincent (Vinny). Rose Marie died when the boys were 10 and 8 years old. Lorenzo married Carla and she gave him a third son, Gaetano (Guy). Although there was about 13 years difference, the older two brothers loved and protected their younger brother.
Fast Forward
Lorenzo raised his family with the same Italian values, traditions, and faith he experienced growing up. He taught his children the Italian culture while embracing the constitution of the new country his parents immigrated to. His sons were raised to honor God, work hard, embrace conservatism and be productive members of society. Although the boys had two different moms, they were all raised in the same way. They all attended private schools and attended the same church.
Butch
Much to Lorenzo’s chagrin, his oldest son Lorenzo Jr. (Butch) ended up rejecting the values and traditions of his parents and grandparents. The family endearingly called him Butchy. Butchy went to a very liberal college and married a “progressive” woman. To make matters worse, Butchy embraced the secular beliefs of his wife’s family. This was very hard for Lorenzo having his name sake choosing to live a life completely antithetical to his upbringing. Lorenzo’s grandchildren by Butchy, would never be baptized or attend church.
They would be taught to embrace the socialist values like that of the country Lorenzo’s parents sacrificed so much to leave behind. Lorenzo’s parents voted with their feet to escape Mussolini’s quasi socialist/fascist government and now his first born son was embracing it. Lorenzo was heart broken. A good friend reminded Lorenzo that many fathers would love to have a son like Butch given that he was a good husband and provider to his family. Butch never got in trouble with the law and he was well respected in his community. Lorenzo answered his friend with, “those are qualities a parent should expect from their children and not praise them for”. (BAM!)
Vincent
Vinny is Lorenzo’s second son from Rose Marie. Vinny is the apple in Lorenzo’s eye. Like his dad, Vinny married an Italian girl who practices the same religion and they are raising their children in a home that honors God and has conservative values. Vinny followed in his father’s footsteps and runs the family business. Vinny is a mini-me to Lorenzo. Lorenzo is very proud of Vinny.
Gaetano
Lorenzo is also very proud of his 3rd son. Guy joined the military right out of high school and served in the U.S. Marine Corps completing 2 tours in Afghanistan. After hundreds of hours of prayers, Lorenzo and Carla were very proud but also very relieved when Guy retired from the marine corp. Guy also is raising his children in a home that honors God and adheres to conservative values. However, although Guy honors God, it is not in the same manner as his parents and grandparents. Somewhere between leaving the military and getting married, Guy heard a voice. At first, he tried to ignore this very persistent voice. Guy learned many memorized prayers from his previous religion, but he was never taught what happens when God actually responds to you. He never expected it. At first, He wasn’t sure if he was actually hearing from God or if it was his subconscious playing tricks on him. But the conversations continued and Guy discovered a wonderful inner peace. He eventually opened a Bible and began to study scripture. It became a daily routine. Guy came to know God’s word and this originally caused some friction between Lorenzo and Guy. Guy started to point out to his father the inconsistencies with the teachings of the “family” religion to that of Biblical scripture.
What does a father do?
Lorenzo’s oldest, Butchy, is a thorn in his side. They do not share the same beliefs in God or politics. Unfortunately, it is a very common thorn that many father’s share, including me. It is a discussion that comes up frequently in my Bible study group. How does a parent convince a non-believing adult child to turn back towards God and receive His light? The short answer is you don’t.
Pastor Paul LeBoutillier (Calvary Chapel Church Ontario, OR) points out that when your children are emancipated and free to make their own decisions, the only tool left in a parent’s tool box is prayer. Hopefully Butch will be a prodigal son that returns to God, but he is not the thrust of this post. The prodigal son is a topic I cover in more detail in https://enjoyinghispresence.com/a-twist-on-the-prodigal-son/
Dad’s Mini-me
Vinny is obviously Lorenzo’s favorite. They are like-minded in all the important matters. They worship and love God via the same religion, they vote the same, they honor God and country. In addition, Vinny runs the family business while Lorenzo and Carla enjoy their retirement years in a 55-year and older golfing community. What father would not want a son like Vinny? While Lorenzo and Carla are lighting candles and praying for God to intercede with Butch, they are sending prayers of joy and thankfulness for Vinny. One could say Butch and Guy make Vinny look good!
But there is something about Guy
Lorenzo would be the first to admit, Butchy is an ongoing source of torment in his life while Vinny is his “cherished” son that brings him contentment. Having a like-minded son brings joy to a father’s heart. But Guy, has become a challenging force in Lorenzo’s life. Although they are like-minded in their politics and faith in God, it is how Guy worships God that gives pause to Lorenzo. His third born is forcing him to come to terms with his religion and his approach to his faith in God. There is something different in Guy that his father and “religious” brother Vinny do not have. Guy truly has a personal relationship with God while Lorenzo and his “cherished” Vinny have a relationship with their religion.
This was very hard for Lorenzo to admit but he eventually came to see that Guy has an ” inner peace that transcends all understanding”. While Lorenzo and Vinny are saying rote prayers taught by their religion, Guy speaks directly to God from his heart. He speaks to God in the same respectful way he does to his wife and everyone else he loves. Furthermore, Guy does not waste time on saints or dead loved ones, he only prays to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
Three Sons, Three Paths
It took a lot of time, prayer, and reflection for Lorenzo to see and understand the paths of each of his sons.
Butchy, had become much like the Roman citizens of Jesus’ time who embraced the Roman culture and gods of that time. Butchy has abandoned his faith and upbringing for today’s secular humanism with its sophisticated “tolerance” towards the gods of money, power, socialism, sex, alcohol, drugs, and fame. (Personal NOTE: You have what you tolerate America!)
Vinny chose the path of his father whereby they turned their faith over to a religion of rules, regulations, laws and rituals not unlike the Jewish leaders of Jesus’ time. Lorenzo was surprised to discover the clergymen of his Christian religion wear robes to show their religious distinction and hierarchy very similar to the Pharisees of 2,000 years ago. Lorenzo came to a harsh awakening that his faith was parallel to that of the Jewish leaders. Just like the Pharisees had placed themselves between God and the people, so did the leaders of Lorenzo’s religion. Just like the Pharisees had emerged into idolizing their Temple in lieu of revering God, Lorenzo had raised his boys to honor the “religion” of his family.
While Vinny was loyal to his “earthly” father and blindly followed his footsteps; Guy chose to follow the Father who was calling his name. Guy has always been very loving and respectful to his “earthly” father, but he knew that as much as he loved and appreciated the family he grew up with, he belonged to God’s family.
This has been very hard for Lorenzo because he raised his family as the generations before him. Family is everything, without family you have nothing. It was even more difficult when his son Guy said “Dad, Jesus did not come here for our family, He came here to welcome us into God’s family, the family we are all called to be a part of.”
Guy opened his Bible for his father to read Matthew 10: 34-37 (ESV)
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Lorenzo’s dilemma
The last chapter of this story is not ready to be written. While Lorenzo is enjoying his retirement years he was not expecting the Holy Spirit to convict him this late in his life, and certainly not through his youngest son. Lorenzo is not just the patriarch of his immediate family, he is a rock, one of the standard-bearers, of a very large and extended Sicilian family that honors God through a religion.
“Between the proverbial rock and a hard place” best describes Lorenzo’s predicament. Does he press on in the traditions of the religion practiced by his family for generations or does he follow his youngest son’s lead turning towards God and be filled with the fullness of His light?
Perhaps he will come to discover the wisdom in the apostle Paul’s words in Galatians 1:10 – “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
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