What if the world’s definition of love
is the opposite of what the Bible teaches?
Tim and Rita are devout Christians whose son, Butch, identifies as gay. This reality weighs heavily on them—especially on Tim, who feels deep grief and concern that his namesake is living in a way that Scripture describes as contrary to God’s design. He fears for his son’s eternal future.
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” — 1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Tim and Rita love Butch just as deeply as their other two children. Yet an unspoken tension—the “elephant in the room”—has quietly created distance, preventing the same closeness they naturally enjoy with his heterosexual siblings.
Now Butch and his partner Ben have announced plans to marry. They expect Tim and Rita not only to support the wedding but to attend the ceremony and reception. To add pressure, Ben’s parents—who claim to be Christians—gently shame Tim and Rita for hesitating. “If you truly love your son,” they say, “you would support Butch just as you did with your other children’s weddings.”
Here is the heart of the conflict: In today’s world, love is often rooted in feelings and affirmation. In the Bible, love is rooted in truth and obedience. They are not the same.
The Characteristics of Worldly Love
If it feels loving, it must be right.
- Feelings-driven
- Avoids conflict at all costs
- Seeks everyone’s approval
- “Affirms” everything without question
- Treats truth as optional
But this view of love has serious problems:
- No healthy boundaries
- No room for correction
- No real accountability
Love without truth is not love,
it’s deception
dressed as kindness.
The Characteristics of Biblical Love
- Rooted in God’s truth
- Anchored in His Word
- Willing to correct and confront sin
- Seeks eternal good rather
than temporary comfort
God’s Word dictates
that love tells
the truth,
even when it
costs us personally.
The apostle John makes this crystal clear:
“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” — 2 John 6
The Clash: Truth vs. Tolerance
The Bible never commands us to tolerate falsehood. Instead, it calls us to guard the truth.
“For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not confess the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh. Such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist. Watch yourselves, so that you may not lose what we have worked for, but may win a full reward. Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.” — 2 John 7-11
John’s warning reminds us that not every message or lifestyle should be welcomed or endorsed. False teaching—and by extension, any public celebration of what contradicts God’s clear commands—carries real spiritual danger.
Worldly Love vs. Biblical Love
| Worldly Love | Biblical Love |
| Accepts everything | Tests everything against Scripture |
| Avoids offense at all costs | Risks offense for the sake of truth |
| Feels good in the moment | Leads to eternal life |
| Centers on self and feelings | Centers on God and His glory |
Being a faithful Christian has never been easy—it means choosing obedience over cultural approval. Refusing to publicly affirm what Scripture calls sin is not unloving. In many cases, it is the most loving thing you can do, especially for a family member.
- What “good” is accomplished if we are “kind” but honor falsehood?
- You cannot truly love someone while abandoning God’s truth.
- God calls us to be both loving and truthful.
In my view, Ben’s parents are not walking in biblical obedience when they pressure Tim and Rita to participate. They have chosen the path of compromise—parenting by cultural expectations rather than Christian conviction, prioritizing relationship over truth.
Worldly love
≠
true love!
A Costly but Faithful Choice
Tim and Rita chose to follow the true love presented in God’s Word. They graciously declined to attend Butch and Ben’s wedding and reception because doing so would require them to affirm what Scripture does not. The decision came at a real cost: Butch grew more distant and drew closer to Ben’s “accepting” family.
Yet Tim and Rita continue to love their son deeply. They pray for him every day and keep the door open for relationship without compromising their convictions. They remain civil with Ben’s parents and do not lecture them. They understand that living in God’s love is not about winning arguments—it is about walking faithfully with God and gently inviting others into that same truth and grace.
True love is not merely being kind by tolerating what God calls sin. It is walking in God’s light so that He can transform us—and those we love.
And there is always hope. The same passage in Corinthians that lists behaviors that keep people from inheriting the kingdom of God immediately adds these beautiful words of grace:
“And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” — 1 Corinthians 6:11
It’s worth repeating… Love without truth is not love—it is deception dressed as kindness. But truth spoken in love points people toward the only One who can truly set them free.
If you are living a sinful life, God’s grace is way bigger than your sin. Let today be the day you turn toward Him, allow His light to fill you, and transform you into the being He created you to be.
If you are a parent of a wayward child — keep praying!
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